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Monday, February 3, 2014

Elizabeth Seckman Interview - Fate Intended

Aloha,

My cyberTwin, Elizabeth Seckman, is in charge today...

Long ago, in a conglomeration of our own twisted minds...my eTwinny, Mr. Koopmans, invited me to his blog for a character interview to promote my new release- Fate Intended (which is an awesome read BTW, just ask my mom)

I told Mark that Tammy Theriault was my fabulous beta reader and would he mind if I asked her to make it a threesome.

OH THE INTERVIEW PERVS!!!!

Geesh. I'm shocked. And a little disgusted. A three way interview where Tammy plays the part of Trip and Frankie, two very hot covert agents from the book...my book...the one I'm pimping here today. 

So, without further ado~

The role of covert agents, Frankie and Trip, will be played by Tammy Theriault

The role of Mark will be played by Koopmans, and some vagrant wearing a Speedo. Oh wait, seems that was Mark too.

The role of Elizabeth will be played by myself. I even did my own stunts, thank you much.

###

TRIP: Welcome to the Green Interrogation Room, Mr. Koopmans; Mrs. Seckman.

FRANKIE: We are here to conduct a very thorough investigation. 

TRIP: How thorough are we doing this? Latex gloves thorough? 

*Frankie nods* 

TRIP: Are either of you allergic to Latex?

MARK: Latex never bothers me unless it’s an all-body outfit ‘cos then I may get a wedgie – but allergic, no.

ELIZABETH: Latex? Seriously? Well, since Mark isn’t allergic, I suggest you start with him. Hope you enjoy the view from under the bus cyber brother!

(5 MINS PASS WITH MARK’S GLOVE INSPECTION…15 MINS FOR ELIZABETH’S DONE BY TRIP)

TRIP: You two seem very…clean. Maybe a little too clean. That worries me.

MARK: I blame my obsession with cleanliness on my cyber twin, Liz. She was always a neat-nut when we were growing up in West Cyberville. Also, I must tell you, I was happy when you brought out the gloves. She likes that.

ELIZABETH: Um, Mark either you're confused or you're an imposter! Anyone else notice his uncanny resemblance to Mr. Clean? Just sayin’.

FRANKIE: I want you two to sit down, and shut up! Let’s get this interview over! Trip, tell them why they’re here.

MARK: My, my eTwinny, I see your taste in men-friends is like my hairline—it hasn’t gotten better with age.

ELIZABETH: Hey, I just wrote them. I can’t be blamed for that, can I?

TRIP: *Pulls out paper from back pocket* In my hand, I have incriminating evidence that you, Mr. Koopmans, were smuggled to the U.S. by the very vivacious Mrs. Seckman. The evidence is *opens paper* butter, sugar, flour, and jelly. Oh, that’s from my wife.

MARK: Hey, I watched a commercial for Court TV once. If the oven glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit, right?

ELIZABETH: Totally right, cyber brother.

FRANKIE: Shut it! So Trip…is Jane making you cookies again?

TRIP: Yep. Still on my honeymoon.

FRANKIE: Nice! *shakes head* Back to the questions! What kind of cookies, if you really are American, can you make with butter, sugar, and flour, Mr. Koopmans?

MARK: Ouch, and I’m the crook, er, cook on my side of the family. This hurts. Well, I have no idea and seeing as I left my computery stuff at home, I can’t look it up on WikiPIEdia.

TRIP: So…Elizabeth, if you were wearing an apron, a small apron fitting your frame just right…would I need to bring over the *looks at paper* jelly?

ELIZABETH:  After four kids, I'd suggest you bring a blind fold.

FRANKIE: *smacks Trip’s arm* Dang it! Wrong paper. Again! Look lady, we know you smuggled him in! How did you do it? 

ELIZABETH: That’s ridiculous. He’s too tall to fit in my biggest purse. I’ll admit to smuggling candy bars into theaters, but that’s it!

TRIP: Fine. Frank, I can give him the immigrant challenge.

*Frankie nods*

TRIP:  I have three questions for you, Mr. Koopmans. What color is a green card, what color is this green room, and what color is a green shamrock from the green hills of Ireland where a green, white, and orange flag waves?

MARK: My green card was grey. By the way, Trip, it sounds like you’re a wee bit jealous, dare I say, green with jealousy over things that happen in the Emerald Isle. Has Frankie messed with your Lucky Charms lately?

TRIP: *turns to Frankie* I got nothing.

*TRIP & FRANKIE’S PAGERS GO OFF*

TRIP: Crap.

FRANKIE: It’s another one. *runs hand through hair* Okay, last question if you ever want to see your family or friends again. Are Lucky Charms REALLY magically delicious, or do you Irish folk have us fooled?

MARK: Consider this…the elixir of cereal otherwise known as Lucky Charms is not available for sale in Ireland, so who’s fooling who? Hmm?

ELIZABETH: *Turns and grabs Mark* I didn’t write these guys to be this sloppy!! Or so Lucky Charms ignorant. They’re imposters! Run!!!

FRANKIE & TRIP: *bangs on door* TURN LOOSE, CUJO! TURN ‘EM LOOSE!


###
 
Fate Intended is the third book in the Coulter Men Series.  Trip is the last of the Coulter sons to find love. He’s a handsome man with all the skills a young spy needs to succeed. But when it comes to love, he misses the target. Jane is a sweet beauty who may or may not be wanted for murder. She’s hiding out as a cleaning lady when chance brings her and Trip together. It looks like a happily ever after is in the cross hairs until reality tries to destroy what fate has intended.



Elizabeth Seckman is a simple chick with a simple dream…to write stories people want to read.

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19 comments:

Frankie Miller said...

LOL! I loved the hilarious interrogation. Frankie was a star again. I liked the idea of Elizabeth Seckman smuggling Mark Koopmans into the US! But, would you really allow the use of latex gloves? This is a cool dude!
All the very best of wishes for a successful blog tour with 'Fate Intended' Elizabeth.

Annalisa Crawford said...

Hilarious and just a little chaotic! I'd love to be in the same room as the three of you!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Run!!
Hilarious, guys.
And Mark does look like Mr. Clean.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

I loved the witty humor here :)

M.J. Fifield said...

Too, too funny! Between this and Father Dragon's production today, my abs are certainly getting a workout.

Hi-larious!

David P. King said...

Excellent interview, guys! Great way to start my day. The action at the dragon cave really had me going, too. Well done Lord Baldernot ... er ... Sir Mark! :)

Sheena-kay Graham said...

You know an interview on Mar's blog has to be hilarious. This was fun, thanks guys.

Pat Hatt said...

haha that went everywhere, and the mr. clean crack was great.

Crystal Collier said...

Bwa-ha-ha! I'm hope Cujo is their pet hamster and not a ravenous K9. =) That was awesome.

Melissa said...

You lost me at 'latex'.

hahaha You guys are a hoot. :P
Best wishes, Elizabeth. :)

Elizabeth Seckman said...

@Fanny- I was a little shocked Mark agreed to that also. I think his Oirish brain was running a bit slowly.

@Annalisa- All of us with you? That would be totally awesome. I say we meet at Mark's!

@ Alex- Mark puts up with a lot from Tammy and me. He's a good sport!

@O.E. I blame all the funny stuff on Mark and Tammy

@MJ- I plan to count it for my cardio too ;)

@Sheena-kay- you know us too well

@Crystal- My next hamster will so be named Cujo. Love that!

@Melissa- they lost me at latex too. I don't know what Mark was thinking!

Nicole said...

Hilarious!! Those color questions can be downright tricky. :)

Michael Di Gesu said...

Such fun!

Hi, Mark.... Tammy... mu running shorts are frozen stiff! WAY TO COLD in Chicago!

Elizabeth... ALL The best with you newest novel!

Elizabeth Seckman said...

@Pat- I'm surprised we stayed on track as well as we did!

@Nicole- I'm just glad the color questions were for Mark

@Michael- time to break out the thermal underwear for under your shorts! And thanks, I hope it does well too.

Deniz Bevan said...

You guys are hilarious!
For some reason I really feel like making jam thumbprint cookies now...

Stephanie Faris said...

SO much fun...I'm not sure interviewing my characters would be nearly as much fun, since they're either 6 years old or 13, depending on the book!

Anonymous said...

Too clean? Is there such a thing? I don't think so. Fun interview. :D

Michelle Wallace said...

Too funny!!
Never a dull moment with you three! He! He!

Elizabeth Seckman said...

@Deniz, if you're making cookies...send a few my way, okay?
@Stephanie, I don't know, kid interviews can be pretty funny!
@Medeia, nothing is ever too clean at my house...and sadly I mean that literally.
@Michelle, nope, never dull!

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