My cyberTwin, Elizabeth Seckman, is in charge today...
Long ago, in a conglomeration of our own twisted minds...my eTwinny, Mr. Koopmans, invited me to his blog for a character interview to promote my new release- Fate Intended (which is an awesome read BTW, just ask my mom)
I told Mark that Tammy Theriault was my fabulous beta reader and would he mind if I asked her to make it a threesome.
OH THE INTERVIEW PERVS!!!!
Geesh. I'm shocked. And a little disgusted. A three way interview where Tammy plays the part of Trip and Frankie, two very hot covert agents from the book...my book...the one I'm pimping here today.
So, without further ado~
The role of covert agents, Frankie and Trip, will be played by Tammy Theriault
The role of Mark will be played by Koopmans, and some vagrant wearing a Speedo. Oh wait, seems that was Mark too.
The role of Elizabeth will be played by myself. I even did my own stunts, thank you much.
###
TRIP: Welcome to the Green Interrogation Room, Mr. Koopmans; Mrs. Seckman.
FRANKIE: We are here to conduct a very thorough investigation.
TRIP: Welcome to the Green Interrogation Room, Mr. Koopmans; Mrs. Seckman.
FRANKIE: We are here to conduct a very thorough investigation.
TRIP: How thorough are we doing this? Latex gloves thorough?
*Frankie nods*
TRIP: Are either of you allergic to Latex?
MARK: Latex never bothers me unless it’s an all-body outfit ‘cos then I may get a wedgie – but allergic, no.
ELIZABETH: Latex? Seriously? Well, since Mark isn’t allergic, I suggest you start with him. Hope you enjoy the view from under the bus cyber brother!
(5 MINS PASS WITH MARK’S GLOVE INSPECTION…15 MINS FOR ELIZABETH’S DONE BY TRIP)
TRIP: You two seem very…clean. Maybe a little too clean. That worries me.
MARK: I blame my obsession with cleanliness on my cyber twin, Liz. She was always a neat-nut when we were growing up in West Cyberville. Also, I must tell you, I was happy when you brought out the gloves. She likes that.
ELIZABETH: Um, Mark either you're confused or you're an imposter! Anyone else notice his uncanny resemblance to Mr. Clean? Just sayin’.
FRANKIE: I want you two to sit down, and shut up! Let’s get this interview over! Trip, tell them why they’re here.
MARK: My, my eTwinny, I see your taste in men-friends is like my hairline—it hasn’t gotten better with age.
ELIZABETH: Hey, I just wrote them. I can’t be blamed for that, can I?
TRIP: *Pulls out paper from back pocket* In my hand, I have incriminating evidence that you, Mr. Koopmans, were smuggled to the U.S. by the very vivacious Mrs. Seckman. The evidence is *opens paper* butter, sugar, flour, and jelly. Oh, that’s from my wife.
MARK: Hey, I watched a commercial for Court TV once. If the oven glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit, right?
ELIZABETH: Totally right, cyber brother.
FRANKIE: Shut it! So Trip…is Jane making you cookies again?
TRIP: Yep. Still on my honeymoon.
FRANKIE: Nice! *shakes head* Back to the questions! What kind of cookies, if you really are American, can you make with butter, sugar, and flour, Mr. Koopmans?
MARK: Ouch, and I’m the crook, er, cook on my side of the family. This hurts. Well, I have no idea and seeing as I left my computery stuff at home, I can’t look it up on WikiPIEdia.
TRIP: So…Elizabeth, if you were wearing an apron, a small apron fitting your frame just right…would I need to bring over the *looks at paper* jelly?
ELIZABETH: After four kids, I'd suggest you bring a blind fold.
FRANKIE: *smacks Trip’s arm* Dang it! Wrong paper. Again! Look lady, we know you smuggled him in! How did you do it?
MARK: Latex never bothers me unless it’s an all-body outfit ‘cos then I may get a wedgie – but allergic, no.
ELIZABETH: Latex? Seriously? Well, since Mark isn’t allergic, I suggest you start with him. Hope you enjoy the view from under the bus cyber brother!
(5 MINS PASS WITH MARK’S GLOVE INSPECTION…15 MINS FOR ELIZABETH’S DONE BY TRIP)
TRIP: You two seem very…clean. Maybe a little too clean. That worries me.
MARK: I blame my obsession with cleanliness on my cyber twin, Liz. She was always a neat-nut when we were growing up in West Cyberville. Also, I must tell you, I was happy when you brought out the gloves. She likes that.
ELIZABETH: Um, Mark either you're confused or you're an imposter! Anyone else notice his uncanny resemblance to Mr. Clean? Just sayin’.
FRANKIE: I want you two to sit down, and shut up! Let’s get this interview over! Trip, tell them why they’re here.
MARK: My, my eTwinny, I see your taste in men-friends is like my hairline—it hasn’t gotten better with age.
ELIZABETH: Hey, I just wrote them. I can’t be blamed for that, can I?
TRIP: *Pulls out paper from back pocket* In my hand, I have incriminating evidence that you, Mr. Koopmans, were smuggled to the U.S. by the very vivacious Mrs. Seckman. The evidence is *opens paper* butter, sugar, flour, and jelly. Oh, that’s from my wife.
MARK: Hey, I watched a commercial for Court TV once. If the oven glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit, right?
ELIZABETH: Totally right, cyber brother.
FRANKIE: Shut it! So Trip…is Jane making you cookies again?
TRIP: Yep. Still on my honeymoon.
FRANKIE: Nice! *shakes head* Back to the questions! What kind of cookies, if you really are American, can you make with butter, sugar, and flour, Mr. Koopmans?
MARK: Ouch, and I’m the crook, er, cook on my side of the family. This hurts. Well, I have no idea and seeing as I left my computery stuff at home, I can’t look it up on WikiPIEdia.
TRIP: So…Elizabeth, if you were wearing an apron, a small apron fitting your frame just right…would I need to bring over the *looks at paper* jelly?
ELIZABETH: After four kids, I'd suggest you bring a blind fold.
FRANKIE: *smacks Trip’s arm* Dang it! Wrong paper. Again! Look lady, we know you smuggled him in! How did you do it?
ELIZABETH: That’s ridiculous. He’s too tall to fit in my biggest purse. I’ll admit to smuggling candy bars into theaters, but that’s it!
TRIP: Fine. Frank, I can give him the immigrant challenge.
*Frankie nods*
TRIP: I have three questions for you, Mr. Koopmans. What color is a green card, what color is this green room, and what color is a green shamrock from the green hills of Ireland where a green, white, and orange flag waves?
MARK: My green card was grey. By the way, Trip, it sounds like you’re a wee bit jealous, dare I say, green with jealousy over things that happen in the Emerald Isle. Has Frankie messed with your Lucky Charms lately?
TRIP: *turns to Frankie* I got nothing.
*TRIP & FRANKIE’S PAGERS GO OFF*
TRIP: Crap.
FRANKIE: It’s another one. *runs hand through hair* Okay, last question if you ever want to see your family or friends again. Are Lucky Charms REALLY magically delicious, or do you Irish folk have us fooled?
MARK: Consider this…the elixir of cereal otherwise known as Lucky Charms is not available for sale in Ireland, so who’s fooling who? Hmm?
ELIZABETH: *Turns and grabs Mark* I didn’t write these guys to be this sloppy!! Or so Lucky Charms ignorant. They’re imposters! Run!!!
FRANKIE & TRIP: *bangs on door* TURN LOOSE, CUJO! TURN ‘EM LOOSE!
###
Fate Intended is the third book in the Coulter Men Series. Trip is the last of the Coulter sons to find love. He’s a handsome man with all the skills a young spy needs to succeed. But when it comes to love, he misses the target. Jane is a sweet beauty who may or may not be wanted for murder. She’s hiding out as a cleaning lady when chance brings her and Trip together. It looks like a happily ever after is in the cross hairs until reality tries to destroy what fate has intended.
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MARK: My green card was grey. By the way, Trip, it sounds like you’re a wee bit jealous, dare I say, green with jealousy over things that happen in the Emerald Isle. Has Frankie messed with your Lucky Charms lately?
TRIP: *turns to Frankie* I got nothing.
*TRIP & FRANKIE’S PAGERS GO OFF*
TRIP: Crap.
FRANKIE: It’s another one. *runs hand through hair* Okay, last question if you ever want to see your family or friends again. Are Lucky Charms REALLY magically delicious, or do you Irish folk have us fooled?
MARK: Consider this…the elixir of cereal otherwise known as Lucky Charms is not available for sale in Ireland, so who’s fooling who? Hmm?
ELIZABETH: *Turns and grabs Mark* I didn’t write these guys to be this sloppy!! Or so Lucky Charms ignorant. They’re imposters! Run!!!
FRANKIE & TRIP: *bangs on door* TURN LOOSE, CUJO! TURN ‘EM LOOSE!
###
Fate Intended is the third book in the Coulter Men Series. Trip is the last of the Coulter sons to find love. He’s a handsome man with all the skills a young spy needs to succeed. But when it comes to love, he misses the target. Jane is a sweet beauty who may or may not be wanted for murder. She’s hiding out as a cleaning lady when chance brings her and Trip together. It looks like a happily ever after is in the cross hairs until reality tries to destroy what fate has intended.
Elizabeth Seckman is a simple chick with a simple dream…to write stories people want to read.
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