Hola,
I'm pulling the curtain back, but not looking for Facebook sympathy as my 7-year-old blog is the most honest writing I've ever done, and those who know me know me.
I'm a hot mess right now for several reasons, and all my ongoing issues have bubbled over a la Kilauea.
Naturally, in pure, unadulterated desperation, I fled to my safety zone, and what's keeping me sane is writing, not drinking.
Writing is the only thing I trust at this precise moment.
But yet, come on now, you dipshit... it's the one thing I haven't trusted for years, so riddle me that one, Batman???
How silly am I, really?
If only you could have seen me these last couple of days, especially as I'm busting out 2,000 words and editing 10+ pages consistently.
I step away from the computer and I'm at peace - rather than my usual manner of going to bed unsatisfied because I'd talked myself out of writing again.
I've even started a WIP #2 to complement the cook book I'm editing and WIP #1, which is the memoir I'm struggling to write.
Imagine that. I'm doing the one thing that truly makes me happy.
Pheeww... I've got some issues to deal with (which I obviously know :)
Which closes the loop and brings me back to being a hot mess. For those who do know me, it's basically the usual problem with me with a fresh twist. I've fucked things up, and angled myself perfectly into the narliest of corners.
I am, however, doing the very best I can to fix things and look in the mirror without shame or embarrassment, but maybe a shake of the head and a, "Bloody hell, Koopmans..."
And yet, when I finish my daily writing/editing, I also look up and out and think what's the worst that can happen?
Watch this space! (With me, you never know :)
In the meantime, I'm going back to WIP myself some more. I need it!
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6 comments:
Hi Mark - all the best ... and I hope you can a gentle way through to the lighter space. Good luck with all your authorly efforts ... take care - Hilary
Hopefully the writing helps you fix that mess, Mark.
Okay... hope it isn't too bad... prayers that it evens out.
Didn't I mention years ago that writers who refuse to write drive themselves nuts? I'm not sure what the source of our insanity is, but words are the vent for it.
I hope things get better. You know where to find me if you need me, brother twin.
Best of luck to you, Mark!
Sorry I'm late getting here, and I hope by now things are smoothing out a bit for you. I send lots of love and light to you and wish only peace for you and lots of really good stuff for your words. Keep letting them flow Mark! I too, run from them sometimes but realize I'm so much more me when I run to them instead. Even my husband says he can tell when I've had a good writing day. He likes my mood a lot better! Thinking of you...
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