I woke up Sunday morning and I was in a right, old shitty mood. This was going wrong and how was I going to fix that?
With the steel blinds only cracked an inch, I lay there, the gloom of the room suiting me fine as I stared up at nothing,
Saturday had been one of those bloody days, we've all had them, I know. Mine wasn't even anything that special, but the few things bothering me were a weight on my heart and a constant worry on my shoulders.
As I waited for The Answer to descend from the off-white ceiling, I looked at the digital clock on the side table. Whatever, I'm staying in bed for a bit longer.
About to turn over, go back to sleep and hopefully wake up on the right side of the bed, I stared at the clock again for a few seconds -- and was hit with a slap of shame.
The sister of someone I know, who's suffering from a terminal disease, was scheduled to have an operation at that exact hour.
I sat up against the headboard and asked for forgiveness. I was acting like a spoilt baby with the several "issues" of my life -- all of which are completely solvable -- and there was a young mother going under the knife, possibly at that moment in a near-desperate attempt to stave off the destruction of her entire life and existence.
I'm no prayer warrior these days, but I spent a few minutes chatting to God and asked him to please give strength to the person I know -- and her niece who would be together in the waiting room anxious for any news.
I shouldn't have to say this, but it's so easy to get all wrapped up in baby talk. We should instead take stock of the goodness and the great things in our lives. Moaning and groaning won't solve anything and sounds so childish, especially when you consider there's so many more people far worse off than us.
PS: Please keep (or start) telling your loved ones that you do. Who knows when it may be the last time?
6 comments:
Well said. No matter what we are going through, there are those who need prayer far more.
Sorry, but we are allowed to feel sorry for ourselves occasionally, and to feel overwhelmed with the problems in our lives, however trivial they may seem to others. By all means pray for people in crisis, but you too are important in the scheme of things.
Whenever I am in full self-pity mode, I remind myself that somewhere there is a child with cancer. I've had people tell me that's dark, but to me, it's a reminder to keep my whines in perspective.
Been dealing with this a lot in my own battles with grief. The best way of knowing you're okay is that you come to the realization and snap out of it. I'll be praying for your friend's sister.
God feels your worries too,let Him carry them. Prayers to your friend battling cancer.
Too right. Thanks for the reminder, and praying for your friend. Hope it all went well...
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