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Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Ashley Nixon's Cover Reveal of CUTLASS

Aarrgghh!!! and aloha,
Today is the Cover Reveal for Ashley Nixon's new book, CUTLASS.
But before we do the reveal, Ashley asked if we'd share a pirate-related joke :)

So here's one I thought was funnier than seven pieces of eight stolen by six men who ran down five flights of stairs only to escape through four doors aided by three accomplishes, two former security guards and a Jimmy Buffet Parrothead in a pear tree. (Is that a good hook?)

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"

"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."

The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."

"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."

"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."

"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."

"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them pooped in my eye."

"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird poop!"

"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
(Posted by Dirk in Pirate Jokes)


CUTLASS COVER REVEAL (da dahhaarrgh:)

Publication Date: April 23, 2014
Category: Young Adult
Genre: Fantasy
 Notorious pirate Barren Reed has one thing on his mind: Revenge against the man who killed his father. So kidnapping his enemy's fiancé seems a perfect plan…until he actually does it. 

 Larkin Lee is more than a pretty face and fiancé to a powerful man. Her fierce personality is enough to make any pirate want to push her overboard. 

 But when the King of the Orient comes to Barren with a task—to find the Bloodstone, a powerful gem thought only to exist in legend, Barren sees another opportunity to destroy his enemy. Together, Barren, Larkin and a crew of pirates set off to find the stone, only to discover it caused the death of Barren’s own mother and Larkin’s, too.
As his strongest allies turn into his greatest enemies, and the life of the girl he kidnapped becomes more important than he ever dreamed, Barren’s quest for revenge becomes a fight to save the Orient.

Goodreads (book page): https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18755539-cutlass
Website: http://ashley-nixon.com
Blog: http://ashley-nixon.blogspot.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AshleymNixon
Tumblr: http://ashleynixon.tumblr.com
Rafflecopter Giveaway:
a Rafflecopter giveaway


M.J. Fifield said...

Loved that pirate joke.

And I love Ashley's cover. I always enjoy a good pirate story, and this one sounds fantastic, so it's definitely going on my TBR list.

Amy Jarecki said...

Beautiful cover--who's the designer? Hats off! The book sounds AWESOME, Ashley!

Amy Jarecki said...

Oh, and my favorite Pirate is Blackbeard...who else ;-)

Robin said...

Hahaha to that pirate joke.

This is the first time I've read the blurb for Cutlass. The first two sentences evoked images from The Princess Bride (one of my favorite movies), but then it took a total departure, but still sounds exciting.

Congrats to Ashely Nixon!

Rachna Chhabria said...

Beautiful cover for Cutlass. Loved the pirate joke, Mark.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Congratulations, Ashley.

Sheena-kay Graham said...

Wow is there anything that doesn't include glitter? Glitter pirate cover is definitely something else. Congrats on your book Ashley and cool joke.

Tina said...

Loved the "hook" funny man...and I've heard that one before, but it is one of the best.
Ashley's cover is great and the book sounds very intriguing.
Tina @ Life is Good

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

Love the pirate joke and the lead up. Sounds like a great novel.

LD Masterson said...

Love the joke and the cover.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

Wonderful cover Ashley!!!

~Sia McKye~ said...

Ouch!That hook will get you every time, lol!

The cover is truly nice. I want a shirt like that!

Wishing the best to Ashley!

Sia McKye Over Coffee

Misha Gerrick said...

Awesome cover!

My favorite pirate is Black Bart Roberts. He was more of a character than most writers could dream to make up. :-D

Samantha May said...

Nice joke :D

I'm liking the cover! I could certainly use more pirate stories in my life. Because, why not?

Chancelet said...

Nice cover, and the story sounds like there be troves to be found!

(Still on for tomorrow's concurrent post?)

Unknown said...

That is one of my favorite pirate jokes! LOL.
Thank you, Mark!! You are awesome!

Frankie Miller said...

All the best to Ashley. That is a wonderful book cover.
The pirate joke was funny. He certainly seemed to take everything in his stride, but I bet he hated that bird!

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