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Monday, August 13, 2012

My Entry for "What If" Blogfest - Comedy

Aloha,

Today is the first day of the "What If Fairytale Madness" Blogfest :)

I'm hosting with Leigh, Cassie and Morgan and I'll be judging the COMEDY entries.


It's not too late to join us - we'll be running this through Friday.


To participate or find out all the details, please click here.




Here then is my entry (at three hundred words - excluding the title.)





No News Is Good News

As Noreen White told Stella the truth, she took a load off her feet – and mind.

“You’re pregnant, and you don’t know which one it is?” said Stella, her blonde hair in a ponytail.

Noreen, or “No” to her friends, looked around her one-story home with love. The kitchen here, her regular-sized, and the seven small bedrooms back there. Sure, mornings, it was hectic, but the guys were working and wouldn’t be back until the Sports Palazzo closed at 2 a.m.

“Want a coffee, love?” said Stella, appraising her friend anew. No’s black hair was dank and her red cheeks weren’t so rosy.

“I’d murder a cuppa, cheers, especially now I’m off the Lambrusco for months.”

After Stella poured the coffee, the pair tinkled with the sugars and creamers for a moment.

“So?”

“Remember that party when Jack returned from his climbing exhibition…”

“Expedition, dear.”

“Right. Well, that night me and the lads started a drinking game called “spin the apple.” The apple was too red to be organic. I wasn’t eating it, but we used the top for a pointer.”

“Did you buy the apple at The Mirror?”

“Yes. I should have known. That cashier is such a witch.”

Stella nodded.

“We had fun and you know I have feelings for the lads, right? Even when they’re sleeping, shy or silly.”

But, No, how can you not remember which one it is?”

No looked at Stella – horrified.

“I didn’t make love to the little people – I did it with Jack.”

Stella felt relief – and then confusion.

“If none of the lads are going be dads – which is great, because one's sneezing again – well why the ‘“I don’t know which one it is?’”

“Jack and I are getting married! I don’t know who to have walk me down the aisle.”

 ###

To join in all the fun, you can get all the details here.
Good luck - and *THANKS* to everyone who signed up to participate.











47 comments:

Kyra Lennon said...

Haha, excellent twist at the end there - loved it! :D

Aldrea Alien said...

Which one? Why all of them, of course. ^_^

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Had me going there!

Miranda Hardy said...

Too funny Mark! I love it!

Rachel Schieffelbein said...

Ha! That was great! I loved the name No White, by the way. Very clever. :)

Suzi said...

I loved the way you slip all the Snow White references in. And No's name too!

Morgan said...

I was totally into it! And clever with the title... Har, har, har! *sigh* Alright, score one for Comedy... unfortunately... Grrrrr... ;)

Connie B. Dowell said...

"The cashier is such a witch." Love it!

J. A. Bennett said...

I laughed out loud at the last line, too funny!

E.J. Wesley said...

Excellent and hilarious work, Mark!

Hope Roberson said...

No White is a bit of a hussy :) Great story! Love the twists and combos of tales!

Linda Jackson said...

*rolling on the floor laughing* Totally insane!

Leigh Covington said...

LOL!
Fabulous Mark! I don't know how you come up with this stuff, but I love it.

Cheers to the blogfest and my super-awesome-Oirish-friend!

D. D. Falvo said...

So cute! The repartee was quite enjoyable and I loved modern feel. Well done. :)

Jennifer Young said...

Haha, how funny! Great job with the ending.

Melissa said...

Loved the twist! Too funny. xD

Sheena-kay Graham said...

I was left amused and confused. My Entry

Lara Schiffbauer said...

I was worrying... Very funny!

Carrie Butler said...

Hah! As usual, I love your sense of humor. :)

Emily R. King said...

This kept me guessing until the very end. Nice job! :D

Samantha said...

Oh now that's funny :D

For a minute, I was genuinely concerned that one of the "lads" was about to be a father ;)

Brinda said...

Very cute! I'll make sure never to play spin the apple. :)

Jennifer said...

You made me laugh with this one.

Lauren said...

I can see there's going to be some serious competition!

Lauren
Lauren-ritz.blogspot.com

Sabrina A. Fish said...

Ha! That was hilarious. Great job, Mark. Everyone certainly came out guns ablazin' for this blog challenge.

Tracy Bermeo (A2Z Mommy) said...

That was awesome! Love the witchy cashier!
A2Z Mommy and What’s In Between

Cortney Pearson said...

Bahaha, loved this twist! And I laughed at the witch cashier at The Mirror, as well as the prospect of not knowing which of the seven were the daddy, lol! Nice!

Jenny Morris said...

Love the twist and combo of stories!

cleemckenzie said...

LOl! Had myself a good laugh this morning. Thanks for the Snowy White "What If?"

meradeth said...

Hah!!! This is great--loved it!

Carrie-Anne said...

Cute twist at the end! I also loved the updating of the story with contemporary language.

Roland D. Yeomans said...

No White? Loved all the twists and fun. Coyote the Trickster slipped his way into my entry. :-)

Michael Di Gesu said...

Nice little twist at the end, Mark. Well done.

I love this blogfest. I plan to post mine tomorrow. It may be more toward R than PG but it is borderline. I little more risque than yours, but hysterically funny.

I had written for a twisted fairytale blogfest a few years ago and it's perfect for this, especially since I had just started blogging back then so very few people had read it.

Looking forward to reading the other entrants.

Nicole said...

Bravo! Now, who's she going to name the baby after? ;)

Danielle B. said...

Seriously... I thought this was going down a strange path... but then BAM - HAlarious!

Elizabeth Seckman said...

LOL! The heck with Prince Charming, eh? Good for you, real men with axes (Jack is the woodcutter, right?) are far dreamier.

JennaQuentin said...

Great finish! I was all ready to put my hand over mine innocent eyes ;) Thanks for the giggles.

Mina Burrows said...

Totally original! Loved it! Thanks for the hosting the hop too. Lots of fun!:)

Lauren said...

Are they all going to be godfathers? She'll need to have seven so nobody feels left out...

Rek said...

Fantastic...why not play another round of spin the apple to choose the lucky one?

Denise Covey said...

Great story. Great ending! I entered at the last minute!

Nick Wilford said...

Way to combine the two! You certainly know how to pack a punchline.

Rose Munevar said...

Shotgun wedding for Snow White! Now there's a laugh :)

Madeleine Maddocks said...

Fun to see a twist on Jack & the Beanstalk meets Snow White & the seven dwarfs. LOL!

SC Author said...

Ahaha! I LOVED the tiny jokes like "climbing exhibition…”
“Expedition, dear.”"

That was hilarious :) I'm following you too, and thanks for looking at my post! My follower link is up (I think it's all glitchy). It's in the top right corner you might have to wait a while for it to load. Thanks again :) This was hilarious.

Clare said...

*hehe* Great twist at the end there, and wonderful plays on the original story with The Mirror, and the cashier who is such a witch. Hilarious! :D

Donna Hole said...

a modern delimma, how intriguing. I was fooled into thinking it was on of the "wee lads" baby thou :)

.........dhole

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