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Monday, November 18, 2019

Ireland v Denmark - the Game




·         Hola, I'm reporting live! (for me) tonight in the final part of my recent IRL v DEN series.


·         Tonight, is the10th anniversaryof the “Hand of Henry,” but don’t get me started!

·         Real “Cup Final” atmosphere as DEN needs only a draw, but we need a win.

·         Even the Irish President was nearly late to the game with the heavy traffic.

·         I’m listening to RTE radio 2, so we’re going old school here tonight…

Photo Credits: Getty Images and RTE SPORT

·         And, it’s GAME ON!

·         Great, feisty start by Ireland, nearly a penalty in the first minute

·         Thomas Delaney (he plays for Denmark!!) off injured by the 12th minute

Thomas Delaney (not the Lad in Green)


·         16th minute… Denmark have a free kick, but make a mess of it.

·         Crowd starting to get a bit anxious, as am I.

·         Couple of corners for DEN in a row it seems like, but no real danger.

·         2nd DEN player is subbed… bunch of wusses, if I may say so.

·         33rd minute and a first chance for IRL, but kicked right at the keeper

·         IRL pushes a little more, but no real chances.


·         DEN have a dangerous free kick, but it comes to nothing.

·         3 mins added to the end of the first half, and IRL gets the first corner

·         Shuite. Nothing happening there either.

·         Ref blows the whistle. That’s it. An OK first half, but IRL could have done better.

·         I’m off for a beer! Back in 15-ish mins




·         Second Half

·         I don’t know how sports reporters do this on the blogs and things. It’s hard to eat dinner and have a pint while writing notes at the same time.

·         And, the 2nd half is off (burp. Excuse me.) One change for IRL, otherwise, it’s still the same lads on the field.

·         Thoughts on the first half… not too bad, but now IRL must still win to automatically go through. If we don’t, IRL faces a 2-leg playoff in March and me nails—and liver—can’t handle that.

·         IRL get a quick free kick, and a good one, but it’s cleared. Only 559,001 minutes to go… the stress!

·         Corner for IRL, and a good header ends with a second corner for IRL.

·         Good to see them using that old “Buy one, get one free” move… and Jaysus, we nearly scored!!

·         Throw for IRL this time and it’s cleared by the damned Danes, and off we go up the field.

·         Good work by IRL, though, and may I shout with abandon, “Come On You Boys In Green!!!”

·         Crowd are back in it, and it’s super great to hear the songs from the stadium.

The Aviva.


·         IRL has more of the ball in this early start of the 2nd half, but the Damnation Danes remain a threat.

·         First yellow card against IRL, and the crowd immediately start calling out his name, loving that it was a strong, legal tackle. Didn't get his name, as I ran to the jax as I really needed to pee. (I didn’t think anything would happen and feel very guilty, but understand the game must go on, my weak bladder be Daned!!)

·         And, it's a must stronger performance from IRL this half as I try make up  for my faux pee.



·         Unfortunately, no streakers of either gender have made it on the pitch to further liven up the crowd.

·         58 minutes gone. 0-0 to Ireland and the dangerous Danes remain happy with the result.

·         Corner! To IRL, and the crowd are loving it, as is your rugged reporter, reporting.

·         Sadly, it’s a bad corner, the ball sails over the bar, but it’s a point for IRL!!!

·         Oh wait. Wrong sport.

·         “Ole, Ole, Ole” rings out amongst the 40,000+ crowd

·         If IRL can win this game and qualify, they get to play 2 games in DUBLIN and the other one in Balboa…

·         Within the last 30 minutes… lots of IRL subs warming up, but no changes yet…

·         25 mins to go… cross by IRL and another corner to the Lads.

·          Bit messy in the box, ends in an IRL throw and the energy is changed as the Dastardly Danes mess it up and then the great, manly, brave Irishmen are on the attack again.

·         CHANCE! Ball goes over the bar, but we’re putting them under pressure!

·         2nd sub for IRL. One fellow in a green shirt coming in for another one in the same-colored shirt. The crowd go wild. Exciting stuff as my buttocks go numb on the edge of my seat.

·         Less than 20 mins to go…

·         Free kick to the Dire Danes, but IRL gently defends the box and all is well.

·         IRL push forward again.

·         The Dramatic Danes completely mess up the first chance of their game and the score is still 0-0, this time for Ireland.

·         And bloody hell… 73rd minute… the Damn Danes have scored.

·         Sigh. [Quick visit to the fridge to grab a well-needed beverage.]

·         IRL has 16 minutes, but we need 2 goals now. Yikes.

·         The playoffs in March loom large now.

·         Ireland pile on the pressure, the Lads know what’s on the line.

·         Goals are needed and the Diminished Danes are looking as shell-shocked as a Spaniard getting the bill after eating out in a Dublin restaurant.

·         Five minutes to go… and IRELAND SCORE!!!
Matt Doherty (#2) scores the equalizer!


·         Masses of churches around Ireland will be twice as busy this weekend as thousands have to pay back their “Lord, if only we can score at least one goal…. Please Lord…”

·         GAME ON….

·         But, remember, the non-Dashing Danes’ drawing still mean they go through (boo!)

·         The crowd are going nuts!!

·         All the play is now 103 percent in the Danish half (not really, but I wish!!)

·         CHANCE! IRL goes close and the Darnish defenders clear.

·         3 minutes to go… and maybe a couple added on…

·         IRL force their way forward…

·         IRISH corner!

·         Messing around the 6-yard box, but no clear shot.

·         1-minute to go.

·         4 MINUTES OF INJURY TIME….

·         I need a new beer.

·         IRL pushing forward… get a throw…

·         3 minutes left…. Another throw for IRL

·         Goes out of play… lost chance…

·         2 minutes left…

·         Crowd acting like the 12th man… egging on the Lads

·         Throw for IRL… One minute left…

·         Ball booted down the field… and…

·         That’s it... game over.

Brilliant effort by the Boys In Green - and we're not of it yet!!


·         Spirited effort from the Irish, who didn’t lose, but couldn’t get the needed second goal and will now go to the playoffs in March—again.

·         Thanks for reading along. This is your intrepid and thirsty reporter signing off.

·         See you in March and the next seance :)



6 comments:

Spacer Guy said...

No2 saved our butts with that header for sure but the Danes were organised. 14 really hooked that shot over to 11 who sealed the deal for them but Ireland blew so many great shots. It should have been 5 - 1

CWMartin said...

Wow, great semi-play by play! I admit the beer looked intriguing, but I came right back to read the ending. I'll be looking forward to March!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Sorry it wasn't a win but that was a great play-by-play.

Elizabeth Seckman said...

I don't watch non-American football, but you make it seem like so much fun that I should.

Though, did you see the Steelers game with the helmet smack? Totally didn't see that coming!

Mark Koopmans said...

@Spacer Guy: Heard this morning (Wednesday) that we play Slovakia away on March 26... if, er I mean WHEN we win that one, we have a real cup final - and it could be against Northern Ireland, and wouldn't that be a trip!!

@CW: Thanks, Chris! It was a bit silly to do, but I'm glad you enjoyed the read and honestly I had to keep myself busy just listening to the radio!!

@Alex: Thanks! Appreciate that and I'll do it again in March - unless I'm at the game :)

@Liz: You totally should, Twinny! Especially as the U.S. women are the reigning soccer World Cup Champions!!

Elizabeth Seckman said...

How oout of touch am I that I was alive in 1986 and still don't know what that was?

I subbed for a high school class today and as I watched all these youths, with their anxieties and hormones, I recalled my teen years and I decided I'm good with 50. Now, can you tell me how can I stop the clock? Here is good. LOL

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