Ah yes, the Place of Insecurity. I've been a season ticket holder these past few years, for various reasons, including blah blah blah. We've all been there.
I'm a bit annoyed with myself, because Wednesday I said that I'd post three times a week and yet I tried to talk myself out of it today! Bloody hell, Koopmans. Really?
However, no waxing lyrically and no big plan, but I tell you what, I needed to write today- so I did. Responding to the kind folks who commented took a little while, but it gave my three little brain cells enough time to pop a light bulb.
Writing is a commitment (imagine that!) and it takes time, and it's hard, and definitely a pain in the ass, sometimes, but there is so much joy in seeing the finished project, isn't there?
As I ease my way back into knowing I have the right to write and the belief that I'm good enough, just seeing this on the page gives me a shot of peace. Seeing a posted comment - and then returning each one - was a itsy bitsy tinnie winnie victory, so writing a post is another step toward the exit of the Place of Insecurity.
I've made some changes this year and have no clue what the outcome - or income - will be, but I saw these boats the other day. What's the story and where are the fishermen? I hope to find out one day, but it was fun sitting on a wall and happily daydreaming about all the possibilities for twenty minutes.
My imagination has awoken and I've written 14,000 words in 16 days, something I haven't done in years, if ever. Long may it last and the only one who can make me quit is me - and I am so sick and tired of that guy.
This guy is nicer, a little more charming with a twist of self-confidence that's been missing for yeah, awhile. It's good to be a writer again.
4 comments:
Well done Mark - it's good to see you back - long may you settle into your writing life and give us some charming stories once again ... good luck - cheers Hilary
Yay for pushing the insecure animal out of the room. In time you will (hopefully) evict him completely. And will tell the rest of us how it is done.
Crises of confidence are part of being creative, but sometimes you have to take ownership of your gift and kick your self-doubt out of the window. Glad you're managing to do that!
Oh yay! I'm so happy for you, and if you ever need a kick in the rear, you know where to find me! I too, have to work every day to keep procrastination demons at bay. It's too easy to spiral sometimes so lately I've started to only listen to content on line that is positive, that makes me smile, and helps me to encourage myself. I'm there for you dude, if you ever need re-enforcement of your commitment...
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