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Thursday, October 20, 2011

Happy Hour by Mark Koopmans

Rachel Harrie has arranged a Third Campaigner Challenge. For this one, writers must submit a post in 300 words or less, excluding the title. The post can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should show:
·         that it’s morning,
·         that a man or a woman (or both) is at the beach
·         that the MC (main character) is bored
·         that something stinks behind where he/she is sitting
·         that something surprising happens.
Just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses AND include these random words: "synbatec," "wastopaneer," and "tacise." (NB. these words are completely made up and are not intended to have any meaning other than the one you give them).
My entry (below) is #80 on the list, and you can vote here
                                                            Happy Hour
“Ah, for Jaysus sake, Jimmy, there’s only one free spot left. There in the corner, next to the path. Hurry up, will ye?”
Staring at my lumbering bride of eighteen years, I shut my mouth, tasting again the bitterness of unspoken words.
9 a.m., and she’s starting already? Great. Bang goes my day. Again.
The damp sand calmed me a little as I dragged along the cooler, stripy beach towels and twin umbrellas that looked cute – sixteen years ago.
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Source: By zombie303 @ Photobucket.com
The screeching began less than two minutes after we settled into our plot of sand. Some dude pushing an old, industrial sized garbage bin. WASTOPANEER DISPOSAL stenciled on the side.
The imported stench behind us explained the empty spot on the busy beach.
“Gloria – before you begin,” I said, knowing she’d shoot down the poor hotel worker.
“Oh, don’t start with that synbatec crap again,” she said. “This is ridiculous. I didn’t pay Tacise Travels $4,700 to sit next to a damn dumpster.”
“It’s symbiotic, dear, and I wa-”
“I don’t care. I want you to fix this!”
So I did. I didn’t want to, earlier. Now? Yes, now I did.
With a little help from my friends…
Using the hotel manager as an excuse, I guided her to the blind side of the dumpster. Waiting were the three brothers I’d met at the bar – was it already a week? Masked by the commotion at the water’s edge, (I paid for that, too,) her feet, clanging and scrambling against the empty dumpster went unnoticed.
The hollow thump of a large body landing in an empty dumpster brought on a smile. The stripy towels and umbrellas followed soon after.
The cooler I kept.
It was 9:59 a.m. in Rio. Moseying into a bar, I celebrated my first Happy Hour of the day.


Jess said...

Ooh creepy! Love it! Nice twist at the end, too! Voting for you :)

I'm entry #5

David P. King said...

Nice one! Whoever goes dumpster diving is in for a surprise. Excellent last entry. I've enjoyed reading yours! :)

Jessica Therrien said...

Mark that was awesome! I was completely surprised by the ending. Great entry and perfect use of the words :)

Alyssa said...

Oooh, nice ending! Good job :D

I'm entry #69 :)

ruth.the.writer said...

That was great! Didn't expect it to end in murder, but a totally perfect ending!

Anonymous said...

Ha ha, that was good. Mine is #56

Anonymous said...

I'm with David on this one, dumpster diving surprise. Good story though! :D

Anonymous said...

I'm with David on this one, dumpster diving surprise. Good story though! :D

K.T. Hanna said...

Love this. I have to admit he had my sympathy from the get go. I don't blame him one bit. Happy Hour indeed :D

Sheri L. Swift, Author said...

Nice way to use the words! Creepy! ; )

Angela Cothran said...

You can only push a man so far :) Great job showing! You have my vote.

Jen said...

This is perfect: "The cooler I kept."

Love it!
Mine is #25.

Anonymous said...

Hey Mark, or should I say Aloha, (hopefully I don't sound so silly) Can I just say that it's so cool that you're a stay at home dad. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I look forward to getting to know more about your writing experience.

Joanna said...

Oh my goodness, he really dumped her!!! Love the title too!

Maeve Frazier said...

Ohhh! This is a good one. Great entry! Off to vote.

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