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Friday, December 2, 2011

(New Feature) You Know You're A Parent When...

Aloha,

I’ve mentioned this before, but people have asked why I’m writing this blog. There are two reasons: One’s because I’m co-writing a memoir about crossover opera singer, Donald Braswell, (upcoming post on Monday, December 5 will explain that more.)

The other reason is I’m a stay-at-home dad who lives for family and writes about life.

When I read other blogs, I see so many people sharing their wonderful teaching moments and passing on their wealth of knowledge.

Me, on the other hand, I’ve so little wealth, I’m about to foreclose on my level of common sense, but… I can help prevent hair loss.

"Who Loves Ya, Baby?"
(I used to have a mullet before the kids were born, now I’m as bald as Telly Savalas – or Howie Mandel, if you’re not sure who Kojak wasJ)

Therefore, to help prevent stress, and help other parents from going baldly where I should never have gone

Ohh, I’m glad he shared that… I wouldn’t want my child to fly down a hill and hit a tree on a tricycle

I’m adding a new feature to my blog.

Starting today, every Friday will be the “You Know You’re a Parent When…” post. I promise not to make stuff up, and that each of the bullet points will have happened since the last post. (I always carry a handy, dandy notebook, thanks to a guy named Steve. (There's a hard cover copy of Dennis Lehane's newest book, "Moonlight Mile" for the first person to comment and tell me the name of the television program I'm talking about:)

So, here we go… You Know You’re A Parent When…

·         Tears come to your eyes as the kids finally eat the 16th version of cheap, frozen French fries

·         You’re on the phone in one room, and the toddler wanders past the open door, impersonating Harold and the Purple Crayon. Still on the phone, you look at the ragged line on the wall and hope it’s washable.

·         You get off the phone, and phew, it is washable, yahhy! But, as you backtrack to where “Harold” came from, you enter the kids playroom and see several colored markers lying on the floor, their discarded caps and graffiti-filled walls proof you have a real artist in the family.

·         You spend nearly an hour cleaning the walls, and still forget to put the markers out of reach…

Joy... indeed
·         Later on that same day, you’re putting away some clothes when “Harold” comes around the corner with another open marker in his hand – and a huge smile on his face. Running to the kids’ room, your face resembles Munch’s famous painting “The Scream” as you see the walls are marked up worse than before.  

·          You throw away ALL markers known to exist in the house (well, not all,) and wander downstairs with the kids. Seeing some dirty spots on the floor, you scrub at them, but then hear a crash from the other side of the room. While all is well with the older son, you turn back to see “Harold” now dancing in the puddle of water he made after tipping over the container you left on the ground.

Where's my crayon?
·         And, finally, you know you’re a parent when you give up the battle and just plop down to enjoy the boys, who are laughing and giggling as they slip and slide in their impromptu indoor wading pool.   


I’d love to hear if you’ve had any unique YKYAPW… moments. Please submit in the comments section, and as time goes by, the best twenty (chosen by readers) will gain entry into a future YKYAPW… Hall of Fame post, scheduled to be updated every July and December.

8 comments:

Mel Fowler said...

There was this one time when I put my kids down for a nap. My daughter (3) doesn't really nap anymore, but I still put her down for quiet time, with a CD of classical music, and when it's over she can get up.

Well I walked by her room and she was sitting up and I wanted to die! She had opened up the destin bum cream and lovingly put it all over her baby doll, and in her own hair. It was on the floor, the bed, her clothes. And, let me tell you, it doesn't come out!!!

And like you I thought I got rid of all the bum cream, but about a week later, she finds more and does the same thing again. It was very crazy!

Leigh Covington said...

Oh my goodness... I am definitely going to look forward to these posts.

How bout this... you know you're a parent when you're too wore out and brain dead at the end of the day to remember all the crazy things they did to make you insane! *that's me right now*

Jessica Therrien said...

Oh my gosh :) So cute! I love this new weekly feature.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I'm not a parent, so I've missed those moments. Some of them for the better...

Mark said...

Aloha Mel,

Wow, reading your comment makes me feel like I got off lightly...we use the destin too, and that stuff is narly hard to get off my hands, let alone anything else!

Mark said...

Aloha Leigh,

Mahalo and I'm glad you like the idea....it was a form of theraphy to write it all down!!!

Hope things are better for you now, too...especially as it's 24 hours later :)

Mark said...

Aloha Jessica,

Mahalo...it was fun writing...not so much during the "events" :) But, with a third boy on the way, this may be a long-running feature!

Mark said...

Aloha Alex,

You have that one right, that's for sure!!

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