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Friday, March 14, 2014

"You Know You're a Parent When..." (#17 - the Exhausted Edition :)


To continue my ongoing "You Know You're A Parent" series, I'd like to pay tribute to any about-to-become parents for the first time and if it's okay, let me give you one piece of advice:

Get Some Sleep Now... (seriously :)

(We return you to your regularly scheduled post)

So, without further adieu (seeing as you just got here) I present the YKYAPW (Exhausted Edition):

You know you're a parent when...

The Final Diaper (and yes, it's clean :)

...No. 3 Son graduates from diapers to Pull-ups!!!
Nearly seven years of continuous diaper changing is OVER... (and it only takes ten minutes to control the weeping of gratitude.)

You look at the package below and wonder how this will end up being a speedy Derby race car (seeing as we never had these growing up in Ireland!)

Lightning McQueen, eat your piston out :)

...After enjoying a power nap during a red light, you remember that once you dreamt of selling a million books, plus being wined and dined at the Ritz.
You smile at the reality that you've probably bought a million chicken nuggets and the closest you've been to the Ritz was those new crackers that were on sale last week!

...No. 3 Son, still happy from his Potty Promotion, now seems determined to conquer the world - or at least the back garden...

The magic works & the Balls Dance!! Next stop, Metropolis!!
...While No. 3 Son takes a pre-World Dominance nap, you choose a foreign language movie on Netflix.
Sadly, you lose out on being hip with your friends when you can't use the usual "I'm just resting my eyes for a minute and can still listen to the dialogue" excuse.

...While coaching soccer to No. 1 Son and his U-6 squad, the following conversation happens during practice:

"Coach, you've got hair on your arms," said Player 1.

"Yep," said a tired you.

"Coach, you've got hair on your legs," said an insistent Player 1.

"I do, yes, now lets-"

"Coach, why don't you have any hair on your head?"

(You wonder if suspensions are allowed ahead of the first game...)

"Oh, it's okay," said Player 2. "I know, it's because Coach is old like my daddy and he has no hair, too."

Players 3,4 and 5 then moderated the round-grass discussion on male pattern baldness. (Lord Baldernot would have been impressed :)

...And finally, your new favorite toy (evah) is Woody from Toy Story.

Bald really can be beautiful (and square-looking)

And, I never knew... :)


S.P. Bowers said...

Congrats on graduating out of diapers! That's a very good day, second only to when they can stay dry all night long and you know you'll never have to buy another diaper/pullup again!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

You lasted seven years longer than I would've made it.
Woody's head is just creepy....

Brandon Ax said...

lol. I always love these. Well I had a nice long break from diapers, now I am plunged back into this world.

So far we have been lucky as my wife is home now and so we take turns napping.

Robin said...

Seven years of diaper changing... wow. I am in awe. Seriously.

I love that pic of Son #3 with the balls. It really does look like he's floating them. Coooooool!

You gotta love kids. Seriously, they aren't afraid to ask ANYTHING. It is just a question. It isn't intended to hurt feelings. In some ways, it is a shame that we lost that. In other ways, a good thing. Otherwise, we might lose all of our friends. Hunh. I suppose I need to think on that some.

I agree with Alex... Woody's head is creepy.

Melissa said...

Getting them out of diapers is a milestone. Now get some sleep. :P

(I agree with Alex. Woody's head IS creepy. Stick with round. (: )

Elizabeth Seckman said...

So true, so funny, and sadly, once they are out of diapers- they grow up in a blink of an eye! It's so not fair.

(I used to take power naps at red lights too!! Must be a twinny thing)

~Sia McKye~ said...

You hear parents talk about sleep deprived and wonder. Hey one little baby can't exhaust you to that point and then you have a baby... it's amazing how many places you find to power nap.

Just wait, Mark. All the diaper detail, worry, and terrible two/threes? They're preparing you for the rebellious angst of the teens and you get to face it x3. And you long for those days when they thought you were the greatest thing in the world and you could pick them up and put them to bed for a nap when they were contentious or cranky (both traits seem to be ever present with mid-teens).

Sia McKye Over Coffee

M.J. Fifield said...

I always love this segment.

So...did the package above turn into a race car?

And have you had those fudge-covered Ritz crackers? They're insanely delicious.

Unknown said...

Oh this was cute and brought back many memories (not of being bald, er.. but of the potty training piece). Here's the sad thing: by the time your kids are sleeping through the night, you really are old and can't stay up past 8 anyway.

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

Now that the diaper days are done you're going to be really busy. Soccer and hours and hours of the stuff kids get involved in. Enjoy.

Elephant's Child said...

There is a reason so many cultures have used sleep deprivation as a torture. It is.
But you know that.

Mark Means said...

Not a parent, yet, but still working on it ;)

Congrats on (possibly) getting more sleep, as well!

Kirsten said...

These segments always leave me smiling! The photos are so sweet.
And, hey, Happy St. Pat's day! (Any special parties going on? ;) )

cleemckenzie said...

Yay for the Pull Up Graduation.

And bald is in. In fact, it has been IN for a long time. The kid is too young and hasn't seen Yul Brynner.

Power naps are the best, especially at red lights. I remember them well. :-)

klahanie said...

Hey human, Sir Mazza,

It all becomes a parent in your pawsting! See what I did there, human?

My human is back to nappies. You speak both languages, right?

My human tells me he sometimes gets a "Woody". Have no idea what he means!

Pawsitive wishes,

Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!

Donna K. Weaver said...

Dude, just be glad you only have 3. I raised 6. That's a heck of a lot of diapers. *sigh*

Now my four sons tower over me, ranging from 6'1 to nearly 6'6". And three of them have had to change diapers of their own kids. Kinda awesome.

WordsPoeticallyWorth said...

Good luck with your parenting.

Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

dolorah said...

Somedays I still wonder if getting all my kids out of diapers wasn't the best time of my life.


My daughter keeps asking me to potty train her last one. I tell her I forgot how.

Elise Fallson said...

I was so happy when my last got out of diapers too. This calls for celebration, drinks, and Oooo look at that, it's St. Patrick's Day! Perfect! Hope you get to celebrate and rest. :)

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