The thing I remember most about 9/11 is how selfish I felt - at the very beginning.
September 11th was supposed to be the day I paid my debts and made some serious money. I clearly remember the last thing I said as my balding head hit the soft pillow on the 10th: "Tomorrow is going to be a great day, man, tomorrow is going to be a great day."
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| Source: Anthony Grimley |
"I can sell a Yankees hat in Boston, or a Cowboys jersey in New York, surely I can sell a little coin over the phone?" I said, full of the optimism of the uninformed American sports fan.
My new boss didn't really care. I'd earn a bare stipend for a couple of months, and then work on one hundred percent commission, so no skin off his nose.
They call the big investors "whales," and it took five months of living off credit cards to reel two in. One lived in New York; the other was in Jersey. I arranged great deals with both retired men; deals that culminated on Monday the 10th, and happy as a pig in a blanket, I later went for a few drinks with the boys, having promised my whales that they'd receive the official paperwork via fax before noon EST Tuesday.
That's the only reason I was up at 5:50 a.m. PST, but as soon as I saw the plane hit the second tower just after 6 a.m. my time, I knew the deals were done - and so was I. (I had no clue how bad it would be - did anyone?)
I wallowed in pity for about thirty-five minutes until I heard another plane had crashed into the Pentagon. Driving to work in my new, unpaid-for Mustang, I jumped up as far as my seatbelt would allow, and let out a scream of hurt and anger I hope my ears will never again endure.
As an immigrant with naturalization papers in process, I had no doubt that the attack was on my country (I swore in July 3, 2003,) and my people.
In October 2001, I tried joining the USAF, but the recruiter told me a 19-year-old's pay "ain't going to take care of the credit problems belonging to a 31-year-old."
On 9/11, as always, I'll wear my Liz Claiborne WTC shirt that I bought 'cos the Statue of Liberty looks cool in the forefront (it was 2002 before I "saw" the Twin Towers for the first time.) I will also reflect on how I awoke thinking only about me, but ended the day thinking only about "U.S." and the thousands whose lives had been destroyed by hate and fear.
May the good God bless the souls of all those lost on 9/11, and Lord, please continue to protect those who, with a servant's heart, always run into harms way while we scream to get the hell out of there.
1 comments:
Thanks for taking the time to recount your thoughts on 9/11 Mark. They were extremely insightful and wonderfully framed.
I agree that moment brought many of us out of ourselves and into a larger, united family--the United States of America. We went from being complacent to just plain mad to on our knees. Someone stepped onto our turf, our very backyard and hurt us, daring us to stop them. There was a faith-based stirring that continued to swell for quite some time as a result and God was once again in the forefront of things.
But 10-years later as we reflect' many have fallen back into complacency and God is back on the shelf. Not too unlike the nation of Israel in the Old Testament in my opinion.
But as this day closes, I'm ever so grateful to all the first responders of that day and every day. And "Amen" to your prayer for them and all the families that survived that day and those especially that still ache because of the loss of a loved one.
Blessings
Tim
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