When my hair was long and my stomach less stout, I once ran a on-off series with a kick-ass acronym called "YKYAPW."
Normal people called it: “You Know You’re A Parent When…”
|"I'm telling you, they have a seal attraction here, somewhere..."|
The other day, I found a whole Ziplok bag of scribbled notes, things I’d obviously meant to use, but how deliciously ironic that I saved the notes, but lost the darn bag...
Here then are some long-lost thoughts (and random pics) from a parent who once imagined it would be so easy to “write from home” while raising three boys (then under six.)
|YKYAPW you're old enough for the Special Wristband :)|
You know you’re a parent when…
...The toddler throws a bowl in your general direction, demanding "More Goldfish!" The Dawn of Attitude has arrived...
...You (easily) keep a straight face when a worried 4-year-old devours, nay, inhales three dairy snacks and then asks worriedly, "And I won't turn into a cheese stick?"
"No, for real, I know the seals swim in here. We can't miss them..."
... There's so MUCH
crap, er, lasting childhood memories laying around, stuff that can "Never, ever be thrown away. I love them, I love them all, Papa!" Old Christmas cards, discarded McDonalds'
CrackMeal toys, ripped books. The house will never be free of branded giveaways unless "Kids!! Time Capsule-making time!" Boxes are quickly filled, sealed (and given to the adult children starting in about 15 years.) OCD relaxes... (PS...Don't tell, I have 36 Time Capsules already :)
And finally... you try to vacuum the messy floor quicker than three giggling boys who ignore the five-second rule and just munch off the Cheerios-filled carpet. This event is normally preceded by one child handing you an empty bowl with the words, "Here, Papa. It's empty now."
PS: With 11 weeks before “a REVIVAL is born,” I’m seeking folks to read – and later review (in early November) – my book on their blog.
All I’m asking – and expecting – is an honest review, so thanks in advance!
I understand this is a huge commitment, so, as they used to say in the windows of ye olde grocery store when help was needed: Serious inquiries only.
|"WHEEEEE!!" said the seal as Batman looked at Batman and Batman with a smug. "See, I told you so."|